The Girls Of Beta Kappa Phi

I’ve been working on a collaborative play about the relationship between food and humans, tenatively titled FOOD PLAY. It’s been fun. I’m not sure if this piece I wrote will make it in,  so I’m sharing it on here. We’re approaching a week-long residency this winter at NYTW.

GIRL

The girls at Beta Kappa Phi have taken an interest in me. I know they have taken an interest in me because they invited me to eat lunch with them in their kitchen. Their kitchen is located inside of their sorority house that is separate from the dormitory that I live in. It looks like an ordinary and somewhat large house from the outside but  inside, it’s magical. There is a grand piano that is shiny. And an antique rug.  There are multiple rooms that are decorated nicely that make me want to eat cookies and dance around.

Everyone eats salads.

All the time.

Everyday.

And then they drink alcohol.

At Beta Kappa Phi there is a house mom. Her name is Stacey Henderson.
A house mom is someone basically like a maid who feeds and cleans up after you.
Stacey Henderson is overweight.
But all of the girls love Stacey Henderson.
Even though they hate fat.

I know the girls of Beta Kappa Phi hate fat because once, they put me inside of their basement with a bunch of other girls who they invited to eat lunch with in their kitchen also and after they made us take four shots of tequila, they  told us to take off our clothes. And then they took a permenent marker and started circling areas in our body that were fat.

I don’t have very much fat on my body. I know this, because I only had two circles drawn on me. One on each thigh.

But poor Barbara Rodgers. She got a lot of circles.

Barbara Rodgers got a bunch of circles because she goes out with me on thirsty Thursdays and tequila Tuesdays and whiskey Wednesdays and also the weekends.

But the difference between Barbara Rodgers and I is that I try not to eat anything before I take shots of whiskey. That way I get drunk faster to save on calories. Also, when you go to Qdoba Mexican Grill after frat hopping, you have to eat really fast and a lot in order to throw up easier in the bathroom. And you have to run the water so that the guys can’t tell that you’re throwing up. And you have to be really careful that your eyes don’t turn red, because if they do, they’ll think you were taking a shit and that’s not attractive at all.

I like to dance on tables.
I like to dance on tables because people eat on tables.
I feel that this is what it means to grow up.

During rush week we are expected to wear high heals.
And drinking alcohol is important.
The trick is to be able to drink alcohol while avoiding getting fat.

END

Copywright Leah Nanako Winkler

P.S

Guys!  I have two gigs coming up in the next couple of weeks!  Come! Details Below:

11/5: My short play, I Don’t Want To Read Your Blog ( written originally for A4T at Youngblood/EST) will be a part of a concert/play series at Cake Shop on Ludlow St. Check out the FB event here Thanks to Chris Sullivan for inviting us!

Details:

More Info__ _ __ ___ _ ___ __ SHORT PLAYS ___ __ _ _ ___ ___

For the Love of Brandon by BEN ROSENTHAL
Directed by Chris Sullivan

Henley by BRIAN OTANO
Directed by Eva Schelbaum

I Don’t Want to Read Your Blog written and directed LEAH NANAKO WINKLER

____ ______ ______ ___ __ _ ___ with _______ __ ______ __ _ _ _ ___ __

SLOW ANIMAL –> http://slowanimal.bandcamp.com/

HEAVEN’S GATE –> http://heavensgate.bandcamp.com/

PERFECT TEETH –> http://tinyurl.com/44alo8g

($7 /// doorzat eight, soundzat nine)

PONY SHOW Presents w/ SSG

http://cake-shop.com/

Nov. 9-12: Some text I wrote will be a part of Tommy Smith’s FOURTH in a huge Sunset Park warehouse, the home of the production company Magic Future Box (http://www.magicfuturebox.com/).
Check out their site for details. And Thanks Tommy!

Forth
A radio documentary.
with text by Walker Benjamin, Jean Cocteau, Kurt Cobain & Leah Winkler
and songs by Cat Power, R. Kelly and Nine Inch Nails.
arranged by Tommy Smith

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News, Theater

cat power, chris sullivan, fake soririties, jean cocteau, kurt cobain, leah nanako winkler, leah winkler, new york theater workshop, nine inch nails, Tommy Smith, wlaker benjamin

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